I think people should be allowed to do what they want. But they take it too far, they take themselves too seriously, they exaggerate. Where are these people hiding? If you live on this planet, you're guilty, period, fuck you, end of report, next case. That is a true oxymoron if I've ever heard one . The best (and funniest) George Carlin Quotes on politics, life & death and of course the American government ", In 2001, the official George Carlin website explicitly stated that the list including all of these lines was not the work of Carlin. Its because volunteers work for no pay. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain. George Carlin, 70. I think these pipe-smokers oughta just move to the next level and go ahead and suck a dick. They say if you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. So maybe it's not the politicians who suck; maybe it's something else. When a business man sits down to negotiate a deal, the first thing he does is to automatically assume that the other guy is a complete lying prick who's trying to fuck him outta his money. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. I don't even bring them home anymore. Its like watching flies fuck! Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that shit. They should be more vivid. I'll give ya somethin' to put in your mouth!" Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Some items not available, some assembly required, some restrictions may apply. Yeup, sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize the government doesn't give a fuck about them. "Pre-suck my genital situation!" The upper class keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. With Nina Feldman. George Carlin - IMDb Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George Carlin, 31. It's all very confusing. How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelet? Now Darryl Stingley's son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic. It's nice. Because chickens are decent people. I feel that if I was figuratively dropped on the Earth and there was a political line, I would be just left of center. 14. Tell you a little secret about the blues; its not enough to know which notes to play, you gotta know why they need to be played, and another thing I dont think white people should be trying to dance like blacks. Its never going to get any better. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Fuck him and his balls, and his bicycles, and his steroids, and his yellow shirts, and the dumb empty expression on his face. And a boring game. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? A boring game for boring people. I am perfectly willing to share the room with a fly, as long as he is patrolling that portion of the room I dont occupy. I'm tired of this shit being presented in the context of real news. On Election Day, I stay home. For instance: a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck. Didn't need any help on that ladder. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. We made the whole fucking thing up! Am I right? Men do it, women do it; can't be all bad if everybody's doin' it. The stand up comic was an artist who did more than articulate the public's subconscious; he. ""If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. Of course, I'm sure the reverend isn't that comfortable with anything that has two knobs on it. I'm a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke-free. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. You see all, sooner or later. And he's gotta do it with a big. Don't you love that phrase? They don't give a fuck about you. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. As we saw from my piece on Louis C.K. It's not intelligent to stand around with a controlled fire sticking out of your mouth. Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Who stole my collection of used bandages?! Enjoy! In many ways, the comedian has the ability to be the philosopher of our era, a social critic and theorist whose words have the ability to shape public thought. And don't let me be hit by a flying turd. The Ballad of 'Deepfake Drake' - The New York Times If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." "Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. That's another complaint of mine too much use of this prefix "pre". Let's get started! And they all vote. And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. Zach Urban on Twitter: "RT @WideAwake444: Government doesn't care about '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. Think about it: religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. 15. RT @WideAwake444: Government doesn't care about you. I love the freedoms we used to have. And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!". How do school teachers handle this? Nothing sacred about those things. Quote by George Carlin: "Now, there's one thing you might - Goodreads So, we must be clear about our expectations for government and its role in our lives. 39. Its called fucking with people!. 50. 44. 13. Oh, my goodness. Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. When they talk about drugs, they don't talk about all of them. People who actually know the second verse to "The Star-Spangled Banner." ""George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country. People who have large gums and small teeth. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Well he was an honest guy ya know, he wasn't gonna bullshit a 4-year-old. 46. Feel free to reach out and connect. If people stand in a circle long enough, they'll eventually begin to dance. Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. When did this happen; that we passed chickens in goodness? But where do people think these politicians come from? Any old orifice will do for Dopey. A Boy Scout master who owns a dildo shop. Thats the problem., I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country., Political correctness is Americas newest form of intolerance, and it is especially pernicious because it comes disguised as tolerance., Forget the politicians. If I can be of any help to you on your journey I'll do my best. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. Doesn't happen often. Who the fuck is going to invade the US? 51 Genius Quotes That Prove George Carlin Was A Modern Philosopher Bomb them!" What a fucking disgrace that place is! And athletes, athletes got into uppers, college athletes. I gave up on my countrymen. "Pre-heated" is a meaningless fucking term! Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Some people don't want you to say this, some people don't want you to say that.
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