They've got you by the balls. Somebodys wasting their fucking time. Theres no present. Its called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. 4. They're anti-woman. If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care We get what we deserve. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. Some national parks have long waiting lists for. Teach them to question everything. 3. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. ~ (George Carlin). Quotes from the late comedian and social critic, George Carlin, often surface in the political arena of social media. 41. And fight songs. 12. WebGeorge Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. Born in New York in 1937, George Carlin was an American comic icon, actor, social critic, and author. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. 85. See more ideas about george carlin, carlin, quotes. "Hmm? He Was Fatally Beaten by Memphis Police Now People Around the World Are Sharing #SunsetsForTyre in His Honor, 41 Daughter Quotes That Will Touch and Melt Your Heart, Monday Motivation: 36 Powerful Quotes to Jump-Start the Beginning of Your Week, 20 Most Inspiring Martin Luther King Jr. The people are fucked. Teach them to question what they read. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote I took his shoes. There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. ~ (George Carlin). 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". Maybe this time itll work. ", If you can't beat them, arrange to havethem beaten., Laugh often, long, and loud. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, Best Anti-Gun Jokes and One-Liners About Gun Control, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician. When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Be happy with what youve got. People are dreaming if they think they have rights. Pro-lifethese people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! The previous statement is false. ~ (George Carlin). Ice Cube visits the "Sway in the Morning" show with Sway Calloway on Shade 45 at SiriusXM Studios on December 07, 2018, in New York City. And in 2017,Rolling Stone magazine ranked Carlin second on its list of the 50 Best Stand-Up Comics of All Time, just behind Richard Pryor. "I don't know if we could count on any parties to get us out this s**t, to be honest. His comedy routines and sayings are among the most widely spread in our society. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ~ (George Carlin). If God created everything, hes got a serious quality control problem. ~ (George Carlin). WebGovernments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to As for the poor, [conservatives] tell us [the poor]'ve lost all incentive because we've given them too much money. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. ~ (George Carlin). 65. International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp messages, wishes, 5. 38. '", "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. He was a true originala brash, intelligent, eloquent voice that cut to the quick. Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. 47. This is the best we can do folks. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ~ (George Carlin). "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. Perhaps those who can really claim him as one of their own are the commoners, we the people, caught in the chaos. But who is confident enough to give their persona the name Hendrix? In a world where we agree on so little, it is nice to have a voice from the past whose bias can not be defined as strictly partisan. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. They don't want to hear from you. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. ~ (George Carlin). They've got the judges in their back pockets. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? 15. If this is the best God can do, Im not impressed. ~ (George Carlin). Laughuntil you gasp for breath., I have as much authority as the Pope. Carlin was brought up Irish Catholic but grew into an outspoken atheist. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. That in of itself should make you think.Carlin performed many standup comedy routines and HBO specials, acted in dozens of television and movie productions, recorded spoken-word albums, and was the author of several books, with titles like Brain Droppings (97) and Napalm and Silly Putty (01).What I loved about Carlin was his dedication to freethinking and independent thought. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Never argue with an idiot. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. ~ (George Carlin). Though some of these people have always been fans, his social commentary and political criticisms have found new meaning--and a new home--among the right.Though the right-wing and left-wing have "claimed" George Carlin as one of their own heroes, his allegiance was always to himself (another great libertarian tenet), and wasn't going to shill for anyone.If Carlin was ever a hero, it was always for the individual, the rebel, the outcast. 21. 16. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. ~ (George Carlin). If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. ", "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to haveselfish, ignorant leaders. 70+ George Carlin Quotes About the Crazy World We Live in Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ~ (George Carlin). artists, quotes by a single personality. Well, not overnight, you cant see the sun at night. Something is definitely wrong. Here's one for the ladies, "Nary-A-Carry"! 100. They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives dont care about you until you reach military age. Everyone experiences pain, of course. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. I dont vote. It will not be with jack-boots. But once youre born, youre on your own. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. 10. What if I want to have a crappy day? ~ (George Carlin). ", "Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Everyone smiles in the same language. ~ (George Carlin). Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was. Leave these f**king people alone for Christ's sake. Bonus Material: Watch this video, it's Carlin at his best! 22. WebGeorge Carlin Quote: Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. I dont vote. You don't. They want it back, so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ~ (George Carlin). Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. 56. Why would God have a favorite country? 2. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. 110. Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass. ~ (George Carlin). No, that might be something Christ would do! The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breathe away. ~ (George Carlin). The status quo sucks. ~ (George Carlin). ", "Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. [5], Conservatives say if you dont give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. God has a three-day weekend. ~ (George Carlin). And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked. George Carlin If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. 37. And probably increase. ~ (George Carlin). It can help you a lot. Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. Web#1 Dont just teach your children to read. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. 33. We invite you and ask you to help us update this wiki by editing it. 94. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Keep 'em showing up at those 'jobs. Somebodys gonna be disappointed. 77. Quotes Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. George Carlin 28. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. George Carlin:::Political quotes 125 George Carlin Quotes 1. Nothing changed. ", "If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. Teach them to question what they read. The Kennedy Center posthumously awarded this year's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor to George Carlin. Let a smile be your umbrella, and youll end up with a face full of rain. ~ (George Carlin). After harping on his skepticism of politicians, particularly Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden, 51-year-old Ice Cube doubled down on his distrust of the government on Tuesday by sharing a famous quote by the late, great comedian George Carlin on Twitter. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Some people see the glass half full, others see it half empty. And armbands. Dont just teach your children to read Teach your children to question what they read, teach them to question everything. 60. I dont have a fear of heights. Tweet. He was raised an Irish Catholic, even an alter boy, and attended a Catholic school until the age of 15, when he dropped out of school.[1]. If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. The legendary George Carlin reminded us to think deeply but to make sure we take time to laugh and never take ourselves too seriously. 18. 70. They own and control the corporations. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). They dont fall out of the sky. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. 6. FUCK THEM. These bright quotes will inspire you to not to take things so seriously in life! George Carlin Quotes on Religion, Politics, Government Fuck em. 66. WebHere are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels by Libertarian Country. Read these short quotes by the renowned comedian to make you smile while seeing things from a different perspective. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. 96. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive.
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